Mommy Camp

Summertime is portrayed in the media as a blissful time for families to spend quality time and relax together in the sun. However, for most mothers the term “summer vacation” conjures sensations of shortness of breath, constriction of the chest and thoughts of catastrophe which closely resembles the symptoms of a panic attack. While summer vacation can lend itself to quality family time and new shared experiences at some moments, the majority of summer vacation becomes a whirlwind of a balancing act trying to juggle reduced hours in childcare while still keeping up the balls of the regular flow of household responsibilities, work commitments oh and that thing called “self care” (cause regular life doesn’t stop just because your kids have vacation from school).

But the truth is- summer vacation is a gift. At times an overwhelming gift but a gift that we need to learn how to enjoy. Summer is the time that we get the best version of our kids. With such rigorous academic schedule we typically don’t get the best of our children. Pulling them out of the bed in the morning and rushing them out the door to be on time for school and then at the end of the day when they are tired and cranky and we usher them again in the opposite direction through homework, bath and bedtime leaving little time to really get to know our kids at their peak best.

While it is true, that children need structure as too much unscheduled time after school or during the summer can be problematic, children also need time to unwind, relax, explore and not be shuttled from one activity to the next constantly. Ongoing research shows that children need a balance of downtime just as much they need structured time. Time devoted to unstructured play is often where children’s life skills are developed most.

I have been blessed to have been able to spend many summers doing “mommy camp” with my kids. Even the term “mommy camp” itself that has been the nicknamed assigned to when children stay home in the summer implying the expectation that kids will be entertained and put on a schedule by Mom instead of going to an actual camp.

But Mommy Camp is not just about mimicking camp at home. It’s letting your kids do mundane activities like going grocery shopping with you, making returns and experience normal everyday life that they typically don’t get to do when they busy during the school year.  Giving them space to explore their world and themselves outside of school. Pursuing interests, passions or just being given permission to daydream and lounge. 

Keeping my kids home during the summer has not always been easy or simple but it gave me the opportunity to get to know my children in a different way. I was actually shocked a few years ago when my youngest was old enough to join me with the older siblings on trips during the summer. I had thought he was spunky and daring and didn’t understand why he was hesitant to jump and climb and engage in reckless play like his siblings. I had lumped him with the rest of the bunch but turns out he is a more gentle, cautious soul than I had thought. Being able to take the time to engage with my child in different kinds of activities introduced me to a new side I had yet to notice. Being out and about with my kids and having them accompany me on errands allowed them space to be curious and initiated conversations about how the world works.

Now I know “Mommy Camp” is not for everyone. It requires stamina, energy and a fine balance between planning and being spontaneous. But it is a rare opportunity that is only available for a certain number of years.

Even if it’s only for one week in between trips and camp. It’s such a gift to extend to your kids. Giving them room to breath. Let them make their own schedule. Work through boredom. Let them know you enjoy spending time with them. Summer is not so much about giving our kids an “experience to remember” but rather giving them a pause and reset to enter into the new school year feeling refreshed and ready to do it all over again. 

So next spring when your kid says, “I think I want to stay home this summer”, take a deep breath, smile and say “Maybe we could try it for a week.”

Helpful Tips:

-Team up with other children. Ideally another family where you and your kids get along and enjoy being around each other. 

-Involve kids in the planning. Have them come up with a list of activities and projects. Let them work on creating a schedule for themselves. 

-Mimic camp: Assign each day of the week to a combination of activities i.e Swim and park day, Trip day, Bake and arts n craft day etc..

-Set certain goals for skills that kids want to learn or improve

-Just like a rainy day, be prepared for a heat day. Stock up on water balloons, ice cream, and have a hibernation day at home with board games and tents with the air conditioning blasting

- Make sure you are on your game with meal prep- have freezer stocked with dinners prepared or have easy to make meals on hand and a stocked pantry!